Today I was riding my bike, no surprise, and just thinking about various topics such as whatever "drama" is going on. I saw this old hunched man, that i see a lot, walking on the side of the road, while his lawn mower is just sitting there. Of course I ask if he needed help, and he replied no, and we got to talking. He was just saying how much he loved riding his bike, and all the places that he used to ride. I LOVE hearing stories and riding my bike! Then, he said he had stopped riding because his doctor told him he couldn't anymore due to his age. He now rides a boring stationary bike, with the scenery being nothing but four walls. He didn't realize how much he loved riding a real bike until the option was gone.

Then we moved on to his wife... She passed away 4 years ago. Naturally, replying "sorry", he whispered "me too. She put up with me for 63 years. That's longer than anyone ever has."

Sixty-three years. SIXTY-THREE! I'm lucky if someone can put up with me for 63 minutes, nevertheless YEARS! How lucky he is... To had found someone to be there with you, until death... That's a miracle in itself. That got me to thinking...

Recently, one of my newest friends/oldest acquaintances, brought up the lyric, "You don't know what you got 'till it's gone" from 'arking Lot' by Counting Crows. That line is so extremely true, in every aspect in life. From loosing that perfect life in da parish, to loosing my grandfather... to Kat going to college... to Brian and I separating (again)... You just don't realize it until you don't have it anymore. That's why I don't take anything for granted and get excited over absolutely nothing, I guess. It can all be taken away in just a matter of seconds.

Another great thing about that quote is, that in some relationships when that someone is gone, you realize after a while, that you hadn't really lost anything at all...

in reference to Jimmy... who changed into nothing I need.
he was just drama... and pushy... and made me miserable. turns out, i didn't like him at all. hmm.

also garret...
who made me his bitch...
and shattered me...
twice.
i'm such a fool.

will someone ever want to put up with me for 63 years? or even 36 years? Will someone still love me when I'm fat and pregnant? When I'm shriveled as a raisin ? Be there through my toughest times, then leave me when things get better?

Who knows. That's life I guess. I know one thing though... if all else fails, I still got that person who smiles in the mirror at me every morning!